Man Threatens Family with Coldplay Lyrics, Ends Standoff with Police for Slice of Pizza

Coldplay and pizza. If you’re a borderline psychopath or basic white girl, this is the way to your heart.

I’m kidding, obviously, because there’s nothing borderline about him.

Buckle up for this one, folks.

A ***** man who allegedly harassed his family using Coldplay lyrics and threats of violence from his “Nazi prison associates” was convinced to end his standoff with police for a slice of pizza, according to police reports.

On Tuesday, Evan Charles McLemore, 33, was arrested on charges of resisting an officer without violence and aggravated stalking.

The resisting charge stems from a four-hour standoff in ***** on Tuesday.

Shortly after 10 a.m., officers responded to a residence on Durango Circle in reference to a possible battery and were advised McLemore had barricaded himself in a backroom. Officers began trying to coax McLemore out of the room, but McLemore  responded that “he had a gun to his head, and he was not going back to prison, no matter what it took,” according to a ***** Police Department arrest report.

Officers contacted SWAT, and over the next several hours negotiators attempted to persuade McLemore to come out of the room. Crisis negotiators eventually offered McLemore a slice of pizza, and he exited the room. Officers then were able to take him into custody.

McLemore allegedly told officers he had ingested “many various narcotics” while he was barricaded in the room, according to the arrest report. Because of his condition, McLemore was initially denied entry into the jail and taken to ***** Hospital to be medically cleared.

At the time of his arrest, McLemore had a preexisting warrant for aggravated stalking.

In early February, McLemore’s stepmother contacted ***** police to report he was sending her harassing text messages. She claimed that he had been physically abusive in the past, and that he had held a knife to his grandmother’s throat and threatened to kill her.

According to claims in the arrest report, McLemore had threatened and intimidated people in the past by saying that “Nazi” associates of his from prison would do violence on his behalf. His family had largely cut off communications with McLemore when he attempted to strangle a different family member, the stepmother reportedly told police.

Despite being told that family members did not want any contact with him, McLemore allegedly sent numerous texts over several weeks that included implied threats. In one text, he allegedly wrote,”You f— with me and I am not the one that’s going to do anything but there’s people that will.”

In another, he quoted a Coldplay song and wrote, “Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones and I will try to fix you.”

***** Department of Corrections records indicate McLemore previously served 18 months in prison for battery on a person older than 65.

He is currently being held in ***** County Jail on $6,000 bond.

Ok. There is so much going on with this story, we’re breaking out the bullet points.

  • I can see how procuring pizza to defuse a situation can fall under the job title “Crisis Negotiator”. Have you ever been drunk?
  • The pre-existing warrant for aggravated stalking is the least surprising information in this whole story.
  • He held a knife to Nana’s throat! WTF.
  • I actually don’t doubt that he has Nazi associates, but I have the sneaking suspicion that even the Nazi’s think he is crazy.
  • He attempted to strangle a different family member? Not that shocking given the rest of the info. BUT. His family “largely cut off communication” with him? What does it take to totally cut off communication?
  • Look at his mugger. Now imagine that man singing those Coldplay lyrics to you…
  • Previously served 18 months in prison for battery on a person older than 65. Maybe the knife incident wasn’t the first time Nana was out of line?
  • $6,000 bond. I mean what in the actual f*ck?

Where is the pizza so good it can end a standoff?

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Gulf Breeze, Florida....If Florida pizza can end standoffs, then Ohio pizza has to be able to cure cancer.



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